yoga workshop, hip openers

My general complaint with Yoga Yoga is the unpredictiblity of the intensity of the classes. I can go for weeks, and really not complete a single class that burns any calories. It's great for my head, and I do enjoy those classes full of chanting and breathing and rolling around on the floor, but sometimes I am looking for a bit more. With that in mind, I signed up for a workshop. Hip openers. Really, it was the only weekend workshop they had that worked with my schedule. I didn't really think it through. I thought it might be nice to go stretch out and relax after my 10 mile run that morning. I figured the longer format would include some outlining/background/discussion then a long warm up, some more intense poses and a nice long relaxation period. Boy was I wrong about what I was getting in to. The class was in a huge room. There were about 30 of us. I was all the way in the back. People got up and sprinted in to the room when the class before ours was still coming out. Clearly this front row cabal devoted to following this particular teacher. I recognized the rest of the class as Kundalini instructors and some other yoga teacher types.
She had a thick eastern european accent, kind of like Bela Karolyi or this Russian speed skating coach I had one time at hockey camp. She was like the weird dance teacher at Kent and had a headscarf and a lot of eyeliner. She was very demanding and there was nothing zen about the class.
"Put all your things on the stage! Nothing on the floor. You may have small water. a bottle. Nothing else. If you know me, you will know I will step on your things!"
She badgered us through sun salutations and very intensive strange poses I have never seen. The icing on the cake of this ridiculous class I had no business being in after running 10 miles, was a 10 minute pigeon pose. 10 freaking minutes. In pigeon. I toughed it out, but in reality, I spent about as much time in child's pose as I did participating in the class. The instructor was attentive to my ralph wiggum status as the class dunce, but I was really expecting to learn more and be punished less.